'As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.' Jonathan Swift (30 November 1667 – 19 October 1745)

'Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly.'

This is the journal of me, JONATHAN SWIFT. Gaze 'pon th'exasperations, confusions and calumnies of my humble life. Prepare to be flabbergast'd: stand back in horror as you enter a world where th’humble lady Miss STELLA assaults our defenceless vicar, drinks me under th’table, tangles th’maid (the long-suffering AGNES) in the curtain drapes & where th’WHIPPET intermittently enters & ‘scapes th’PRIORY. Take flight as we journey 'cross th'country & 'cross the world in my hot air BALLOON. But take care, for my beady eyes are fixed ‘pon your bewildering age...

For a daily dose of my missives, observations and confusions, join me ‘pon th’TWITTER where I make merry of your deviant century: @JonathanSwift79